"Escape From Timeshare Hell"

By Lisa Ann Schreier

Dedicated to the more than 3 million consumers who attend a timeshare sales pitch each year.

As a former timeshare salesperson, I’ll come right out and say it—buying a timeshare based on a sales presentation at a resort when you’ve been lured by a discounted hotel stay or free attraction tickets may lead to problems.

Don’t get me wrong; timeshare is a wonderful product and enjoys an 88% satisfaction rate. Many times owning a timeshare will save you significant money, allow you to vacation in places that are out of reach for most of us, and is a terrific way of insuring that we go on a quality vacation each and every year.

But it is the manner in which most of us get our first introduction to timeshare that leaves such a bad taste, and is the source of so many “horror stories” that bothers me and a handful of other forward-thinkers.

I am not condemning everyone in the timeshare industry. The majority of them are decent, hard-working individuals.

Timeshare is not an easy product to purchase unless and until you know the secrets. As I said in my first book, Surviving A Timeshare Presentation . . . Confessions From The Sales Table, the biggest secret about timeshare is that it is NOT necessary to attend a timeshare presentation in order to purchase a timeshare.

The facts are the facts—the timeshare salesperson is the seller’s agent, not the buyer’s. If you speak with a salesperson at a resort in Tennessee, sure enough, you’ll be told that Tennessee is the “best” place for you to own. If the timeshare is an RCI Points Resort in Las Vegas, you’ll hear all the wonderful attributes of both Las Vegas and RCI Points. Ditto for a standard Interval International resort in South Carolina.

There are, no doubt, excellent features about Tennessee, RCI Points, Las Vegas, Interval International and South Carolina. But wouldn’t it be better for you if you could have unbiased information given to you and have someone working on your behalf, not the resort’s?

Fortunately, there are now many options that allow you to avoid the Timeshare Hell of resort presentations. Many fine companies offer resale timeshares that you buy online or via the telephone. Let’s take the example of Holiday Group—a timeshare resale company in Seattle.

Holiday Group has an always-changing inventory of timeshare resorts—RCI, II, points, weeks, floating, and fixed. They’ll work with you to find the “best” timeshare or timeshares for your specific needs. And the clincher? At prices substantially lower than purchasing from the resort because they aren’t burdened down by 65% marketing costs. That means no presentations for you. And no mysteries that are so often the case when buying a timeshare resale over the Internet from Joe Schmo who “forgets” to disclose that he hasn’t paid his maintenance for six years or that the resort has levied a special assessment of $400 every single year.

Here is a short, honest-to-goodness example. Let’s say that you have done all of your homework and decided for your own reasons that you wish to purchase at a certain RCI-affiliated resort in Orlando on the week system, as opposed to the point system.

I did a search and found a resort on the Holiday Group Web site. The resort in question was one that I personally worked at for more than two years, from early 2000 to late 2002, so I am well acquainted with the resort and the prices.

Holiday’s listing revealed this:

2-Bedroom Unit
Deeded Week 27
Floating Week
Annual Maintenance Fee $620
Price $3,350
Financing Available at $240.05 for 24 months

So, I called the resort to compare. This is an actual transcript of what occurred:

Resort Person #1: ____ Resort, how may I direct your call?
Me: I’d like to talk with someone in sales please.
Resort Person #1: Who in sales?
Me: I don’t know, I’m interested in purchasing a timeshare there.
Resort Person #1: Hang on.
Resort Person #2: This is _________.
Me: Yes, I’d like to talk to someone about buying a timeshare.
Resort Person #2: Do you already own here?
Me: No.
Resort Person #2: Hang on, let me connect you.
Resort Person #3: Hello?
Me: Yes, is this the sales department?
Resort Person #3: No. Who are you looking for?
Me: I need to talk with someone about buying a timeshare.
Resort Person #3: Hang on.
Resort Person #4: Hello?
Me: Yes, I need to talk to someone about buying a timeshare.
Resort Person #4: OK, have you been here before?
Me: Yes.
Resort Person #4: And did you buy a timeshare when you were here?
Me: No, that’s why I’m calling; I’d like some pricing information.
Resort Person #4: Well, we don’t give prices out on the phone.
Me: Really? Why not? I know exactly what I want.
Resort Person #4: No, we don’t give prices out. Would you like to come in and see the resort?
Me: No, you’re not listening. I’ve already been there before, I’ve seen the resort and all I want to know is the price of something.
Resort Person #4: Well, what kind of timeshare?
Me: A 2-bedroom annual, deeded around Week 27.
Resort Person #4: Hang on.

Five minutes and 27 seconds pass . . .

Resort Person #5: Hello, can I help you?
Me: Yes, I’m calling to find out the price of a timeshare I’m interested in buying. What happened to the man I was just talking to?
Resort Person #5: I’m the sales manager. Have you been to the resort before?
Me: Yes, as I’ve already explained. I’ve been to your resort before and all I want is a price. That’s it. I already know what I want. I’m looking for a 2-bedroom, annual ownership, deeded around Week 27. How much would it be and what are the maintenance fees?
Resort Person #5: Well, that depends . . .
Me: What does it depend on? Just give me the price or price range of a 2-bedroom annual, around Week 27. What is the problem?
Resort Person #5: Well, we don’t give prices out over the phone. We can arrange for you to come in for a 2-night stay and give you two Disney tickets for only $199…
Me: I HUNG UP.

Afterwards, I called a salesperson acquaintance of mine who works at the resort to find out the price. The least expensive 2-bedroom timeshare that they had was $13,900. $13,900! Compared with Holiday's price of $3,360.

All of this reminds me of a funny timeshare joke. A timeshare salesperson dies and goes to heaven. (No, that’s not the joke.) The guard at the gate says, “Welcome, you have your choice of heaven or hell. I’ll show you both and you make the choice.” Hell is filled with the salesperson’s friends eating pizza, drinking beer and enjoying themselves in a crystal clear pool. Everyone is having fun. Heaven is boring . . . strangers sitting sullenly on clouds. The salesperson is surprised but tells the guard, “This is a no-brainer. I’ll take hell.” POOF! The salesperson finds himself chained to red-hot rocks, fire and brimstone everywhere. He sees the guard and yells, “Hey, what happened? This is not what you showed me.” The guard replies, “Oh, that was only the model, this is the real thing.”

So, avoid Timeshare Hell. Be smart. Get someone on your side. And above all, have terrific vacations!

The smart folks at Holiday Group are offering a signed copy of my book, Timeshare Vacations For Dummies, to anyone who purchases through the end of May 2007. Sounds like a great deal to me!  Give them a call – and get a fantastic book.
 
About Lisa Ann Schreier. Ms. Schreier is the founder of Timeshare Insights (www.timeshareinsights.com), an independent consulting service dedicated to providing unbiased information to consumers. Lisa speaks and teaches throughout the country, is the author of an article in the April issue of Wachovia Bank’s “Uncommon Wisdom,” and will be featured in the May issue of Budget Travel magazine. Visit her website to take part in her latest timeshare survey.

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